the inspector general is waiting
Andreev
About four weeks ago, on a Thursday evening, I was standing barefoot in my kitchen, phone in hand, listening to silence. On the other side, O.D.B.’s Inspector General Mark Edward Lewis was waiting.
Yes, Inspector General. On O.D.B. we honor men’s commitments by keeping track, inspecting and investigating. The I.G. takes the extra step to call men throughout the week and ask questions. Like this:
“Anything else you’d like to commit to?”
Until not too long ago I used to see myself as a “one day” kind of man. One day, I’ll be rich. One day, I’ll live my dream. One day, I will have it all figured out, and then I’ll do the things that matter.
Looking at my reflection in the kitchen windows, I heard myself say, “yes, there is one more thing.”
Then I heard my voice telling him about how three years ago I was introduced to the concept of education for parents. An approach breaking the cycle of ignorance and inertia, rooted as much in respect and wisdom as it is in developmental psychology and brain research. How I felt inexplicably drawn to find out more and then saw how I ended up taking the year-long parenting educator program so I can teach the 10-week curriculum to parents. And how every day since, I think about it, and it pains me to not be doing anything about it.
“I commit to take action and initiate the creation of a Father’s Team in Full Monty.” There, I said it.
“What action exactly?” The Inspector General is intrigued, but unimpressed.
My team leader training kicks in: “I’ll prepare a CPR for Father's Team and weekly hour estimate for moving forward.”
“By when?”
“Next team meeting.”
So I went to my computer and wrote the CPR.
The next day I saw Santana and mentioned my desire to start a Fathering Team in Full Monty. Santana looked me in the eye and said, “Michael Fowlkes has been looking for a man in Full Monty to own the Fathering Forum. It is an MDI initiative supporting fathers from our circles and our communities.”
One day later, I was on the phone with Fowlkes. A week later, I had breakfast with Jerry Seli, brainstorming the format of the first Fathering Conference.
Suffice is to say that the wheels are now in motion, and there’s no turning back. The Full Monty Fathering Forum program is starting early next year. You men will soon be invited to participate and support the vision of fathers helping fathers, and I know that you will step up.
Think of your what your childhood would’ve been like if your dad had been a part of such a community. Imagine all the present and future dads, children and women that will benefit from it. Imagine yourself one day stepping into this circle and then showing up before your child and woman with the collective strength and wisdom of the men.
I have a favorite quote (attributed to Goethe): "What you can do, or dream you can do, begin it; Boldness has genius, power and magic in it."
I used to like it because it gave me hope that one day I, too, would be in possession of this magical Boldness thing. Today I repeat it because I know it to be true.
So here’s a question for you, man: What is that commitment in your life that you are putting off? The thing you are numbing with TV or sex or alcohol or by being busy, busy, busy? The one you remember again and again but is too big for one man?
Call your local Inspector General and tell him.
Yes, Inspector General. On O.D.B. we honor men’s commitments by keeping track, inspecting and investigating. The I.G. takes the extra step to call men throughout the week and ask questions. Like this:
“Anything else you’d like to commit to?”
Until not too long ago I used to see myself as a “one day” kind of man. One day, I’ll be rich. One day, I’ll live my dream. One day, I will have it all figured out, and then I’ll do the things that matter.
Looking at my reflection in the kitchen windows, I heard myself say, “yes, there is one more thing.”
Then I heard my voice telling him about how three years ago I was introduced to the concept of education for parents. An approach breaking the cycle of ignorance and inertia, rooted as much in respect and wisdom as it is in developmental psychology and brain research. How I felt inexplicably drawn to find out more and then saw how I ended up taking the year-long parenting educator program so I can teach the 10-week curriculum to parents. And how every day since, I think about it, and it pains me to not be doing anything about it.
“I commit to take action and initiate the creation of a Father’s Team in Full Monty.” There, I said it.
“What action exactly?” The Inspector General is intrigued, but unimpressed.
My team leader training kicks in: “I’ll prepare a CPR for Father's Team and weekly hour estimate for moving forward.”
“By when?”
“Next team meeting.”
So I went to my computer and wrote the CPR.
The next day I saw Santana and mentioned my desire to start a Fathering Team in Full Monty. Santana looked me in the eye and said, “Michael Fowlkes has been looking for a man in Full Monty to own the Fathering Forum. It is an MDI initiative supporting fathers from our circles and our communities.”
One day later, I was on the phone with Fowlkes. A week later, I had breakfast with Jerry Seli, brainstorming the format of the first Fathering Conference.
Suffice is to say that the wheels are now in motion, and there’s no turning back. The Full Monty Fathering Forum program is starting early next year. You men will soon be invited to participate and support the vision of fathers helping fathers, and I know that you will step up.
Think of your what your childhood would’ve been like if your dad had been a part of such a community. Imagine all the present and future dads, children and women that will benefit from it. Imagine yourself one day stepping into this circle and then showing up before your child and woman with the collective strength and wisdom of the men.
I have a favorite quote (attributed to Goethe): "What you can do, or dream you can do, begin it; Boldness has genius, power and magic in it."
I used to like it because it gave me hope that one day I, too, would be in possession of this magical Boldness thing. Today I repeat it because I know it to be true.
So here’s a question for you, man: What is that commitment in your life that you are putting off? The thing you are numbing with TV or sex or alcohol or by being busy, busy, busy? The one you remember again and again but is too big for one man?
Call your local Inspector General and tell him.
