RESOURCES
team exercises
listening
The purpose of this exercise is to have men practice their
listening skills, and to support a man from where he is at.
There is a timekeeper and a leader.
Pick a man. This man has to answer just one question.
"How are you doing, really?"
Once the question is delivered, the man has 15 minutes of
uninterrupted time. Absolutely no one is to speak except
for that man for 15 minutes. If the man finishes in 5 minutes,
the team sits in silence for the remaining 10 minutes.
There are no "2 minute warnings" or anything like that.
After 15 minutes the timekeeper calls time. If the man
is deep into something, you can let him go longer, but
for the most part, he is done after 15 minutes.
When that is complete, the man is quiet, and the rest
of the men repeat back what they heard the man say.
When they repeat back, they repeat back word for word. They
do not make anything up or interpret it to something else. They
repeat exactly what they heard.
If a man says "I really love my wife", a man in the circle says
"What I heard you say is that you really love your wife".
This allows the man who was speaking to be able to
hear what he said during his fifteen minutes. The man
may be deep into a thinking process when he is talking,
and this part allows him to hear what he actually said. This
process should take no longer than 5 minutes, but can go
on as long as necessary.
There is no place in this exercise to ask questions, poke
or prod further, or get clarity on anything the man said.
When finished, you go on to the next man. Repeat the same
process. This process may take more than one meeting.
When the exercise is complete, and every man has
participated, ask the men
"How was it to listen to what the man was saying?"
"What came up for you?"
"How many times did you want to interrupt and try to fix it?"
"How easy or hard was it to just listen to what the man had to say?"
"Did you want to stop listening and want to "fix" the man?"
"How did it feel to just listen and accept the man from where he was at?"
Author: David Plante
