RESOURCES
Best Rituals
life business plan
(extended exercise)
by young
Brothers & Kings is in the midst of a Business/Life Plan exercise that has galvanized the team and moved us beyond the weekly crisis management mode that can sap a team’s strength and morale. Thane Roberts is the architect of the exercise and he is ably assisted by three other men on the team whose combined experience in business and life coaching has turned what could have been a superficial list of New Year’s Resolutions for 2011 into a life-changing opportunity.
This exercise evolved from an earlier higher purpose exercise we did, which took approximately five weeks to complete. What we discovered during the Higher Purpose exercise is that abundance is an issue many men are struggling with right now. The lack of abundance is both a "nuts and bolts" issue (i.e., poor business practices) as well as an internalized sense of lack of something, unworthiness, inadequacy or similar deeper sense that one does not deserve abundance.
In early December 2010, the team agreed we wanted to do more to support each other to succeed financially. Several men on the team have been struggling and much team time was being consumed with putting band-aids on major chronic problems. Thane Roberts stepped up to lead the exercise and announced that he intended to do a series of related exercises on the theme of abundance and business/life planning.
Roberts immediately began the exercise by asking each man to make a list of what he wanted to accomplish in 2011 and email it to him several days prior to the next team meeting. We wanted the men to be realistic (i.e., the goals could be accomplished in one year) but we wanted the men to aim high. The results were revealing. For example, it became clear that some men did not have a clear vision of where they were going with their lives; other men listed discrete mini-objectives that looked more like a to-do list. Only a few men were razor clear on who they are and where they are going.
To help the men who were off target, Len Guida suggested another exercise. Each man was asked to imagine it is December 31, 2011 and to write down, in hindsight, in narrative form what he accomplished in 2011. This assignment had to be delivered to Roberts several days before the meeting so he could prepare for the meeting.
Doing homework between meeting is not something a lot of men (think they) have time for, but we are finding that men are stepping up to the challenge because they see a clear benefit to them. Also, asking men to reflect on their lives between meetings on a common project keeps us in relationship, keeps the team on track, builds enthusiasm, and, most importantly, is of tremendous benefit to individual men and the team.
When we arrived at the next team meeting, Roberts had each of us read our 2011 re-caps out loud. I do not want to give too much away, so I’ll just say, "Wow!" Each man’s life, dreams, hopes and (in a couple of cases) fears popped off the page. One unintended, but amazing, result was that this exercise opened up some old wounds for several men. Suddenly, we had something to work with.
As a direct result of these two exercises (which took from early December 2010 to February 8, 2011 to work through the whole 15-man team), one incredible man is now going for the brass ring: re-visioning his life. He is discovering his career passion and personal limitations in business. He’s thinking outside the box he put himself in. He realized that life beat him down at one point and he "gave up" on his calling in life. You can see the changes on his face and hear them in his voice. Yes, he has a lot of work ahead of him, but as they say, half of the battle is deciding on where you’re going. When the men saw the pain this man was in, seven men stepped up and spent two hours later in the week on a conference call with him. Talk about support for a man who is supportable! That lucky bastard walked away from that call with at least eight months worth of individual therapy under his belt.
I do not know if Roberts planned all of this or if he is just flexible enough and confident enough as a leader to know when to let things unfold naturally, but either way, every man on Brothers & Kings is benefitting from this extended exercise and from one man’s leap to certain death–and certain re-birth. Now that one man has shown us the way, I imagine the entire team is lining up to be next.
What we do requires a man to dive head-long into his fears, self-doubts and insecurities. Going through the looking glass takes courage–and an environment that is safe, truthful, non-judgmental, patient and wise. We are not psychologists; we’re just a bunch of jerks embracing our jerkhood and dealing with it. I feel incredibly lucky to be on a team that is healthy enough to know when to push a man and when to back off.
This abundance exercise will probably take another 12 weeks to complete. It could be May before each man gets handled. We are not in a rush and we leave time for regular stuff like team business and midget pole dancing. While Roberts is expected to be ready move forward with the next installment of his exercise at each team meeting, if his core team needs two weeks to prepare or if something urgent interdicts the schedule, we just move the exercise one week. As you can see, this is a work in progress. I hope to be able to update you in a couple of months. Tally HO!
This exercise evolved from an earlier higher purpose exercise we did, which took approximately five weeks to complete. What we discovered during the Higher Purpose exercise is that abundance is an issue many men are struggling with right now. The lack of abundance is both a "nuts and bolts" issue (i.e., poor business practices) as well as an internalized sense of lack of something, unworthiness, inadequacy or similar deeper sense that one does not deserve abundance.
In early December 2010, the team agreed we wanted to do more to support each other to succeed financially. Several men on the team have been struggling and much team time was being consumed with putting band-aids on major chronic problems. Thane Roberts stepped up to lead the exercise and announced that he intended to do a series of related exercises on the theme of abundance and business/life planning.
Roberts immediately began the exercise by asking each man to make a list of what he wanted to accomplish in 2011 and email it to him several days prior to the next team meeting. We wanted the men to be realistic (i.e., the goals could be accomplished in one year) but we wanted the men to aim high. The results were revealing. For example, it became clear that some men did not have a clear vision of where they were going with their lives; other men listed discrete mini-objectives that looked more like a to-do list. Only a few men were razor clear on who they are and where they are going.
To help the men who were off target, Len Guida suggested another exercise. Each man was asked to imagine it is December 31, 2011 and to write down, in hindsight, in narrative form what he accomplished in 2011. This assignment had to be delivered to Roberts several days before the meeting so he could prepare for the meeting.
Doing homework between meeting is not something a lot of men (think they) have time for, but we are finding that men are stepping up to the challenge because they see a clear benefit to them. Also, asking men to reflect on their lives between meetings on a common project keeps us in relationship, keeps the team on track, builds enthusiasm, and, most importantly, is of tremendous benefit to individual men and the team.
When we arrived at the next team meeting, Roberts had each of us read our 2011 re-caps out loud. I do not want to give too much away, so I’ll just say, "Wow!" Each man’s life, dreams, hopes and (in a couple of cases) fears popped off the page. One unintended, but amazing, result was that this exercise opened up some old wounds for several men. Suddenly, we had something to work with.
As a direct result of these two exercises (which took from early December 2010 to February 8, 2011 to work through the whole 15-man team), one incredible man is now going for the brass ring: re-visioning his life. He is discovering his career passion and personal limitations in business. He’s thinking outside the box he put himself in. He realized that life beat him down at one point and he "gave up" on his calling in life. You can see the changes on his face and hear them in his voice. Yes, he has a lot of work ahead of him, but as they say, half of the battle is deciding on where you’re going. When the men saw the pain this man was in, seven men stepped up and spent two hours later in the week on a conference call with him. Talk about support for a man who is supportable! That lucky bastard walked away from that call with at least eight months worth of individual therapy under his belt.
I do not know if Roberts planned all of this or if he is just flexible enough and confident enough as a leader to know when to let things unfold naturally, but either way, every man on Brothers & Kings is benefitting from this extended exercise and from one man’s leap to certain death–and certain re-birth. Now that one man has shown us the way, I imagine the entire team is lining up to be next.
What we do requires a man to dive head-long into his fears, self-doubts and insecurities. Going through the looking glass takes courage–and an environment that is safe, truthful, non-judgmental, patient and wise. We are not psychologists; we’re just a bunch of jerks embracing our jerkhood and dealing with it. I feel incredibly lucky to be on a team that is healthy enough to know when to push a man and when to back off.
This abundance exercise will probably take another 12 weeks to complete. It could be May before each man gets handled. We are not in a rush and we leave time for regular stuff like team business and midget pole dancing. While Roberts is expected to be ready move forward with the next installment of his exercise at each team meeting, if his core team needs two weeks to prepare or if something urgent interdicts the schedule, we just move the exercise one week. As you can see, this is a work in progress. I hope to be able to update you in a couple of months. Tally HO!
