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Best Rituals
fear of failure
by crowe
Men,
The recent Fear of Failure exercise at the division meeting asked us to look at how our fear of failure shows up in our lives. Included below is both a reminder of the four patterns and, as follow up, tips for overcoming the fear of failure.
Behaviors That Reflect a Fear of Failure
PERFECTIONISM
Secretly, you believe your performance is never quite good enough. You hold yourself to a much higher standard than anyone else. You feel compelled to be all things to all people. The word “no” does not exist in your vocabulary. Perfectionism is self-defeating, because it is an ideal that is not attainable.
PROCRASTINATION
Beyond poor time management, failure to plan, or simply giving in to distractions, there is often a deeper underlying issue when we procrastinate. If you doubt your ability to succeed, beginning the task will evoke a great deal of discomfort. Procrastination is a defense mechanism that protects you from the emotional pain of facing your fear.
STAGNATION
Your life is in a rut. The thought of trying something new causes anxiety; there seem to be too many unknown variables for your comfort. The predictability of your lifestyle was meant to be a cocoon to protect you from risking failure. Yet it has become stale and boring. You feel restless and unfulfilled, but the prospect of change is too intimidating.
UNFINISHED BUSINESS
There is no shortage of good ideas in your life. You are enlivened by possibilities and pursue numerous projects that never seem to get off the ground. Unfinished endeavors are a constant. You thrive on that sense of potential within you, but never allow it to blossom. After all, having potential means success is always looming ahead; taking action means risking the loss of a future reward.
We have a great opportunity to take this even further. We can use what we learned about ourselves at the division meeting and bring it to our teams. Below is the list of tips for helping to overcome the fear of failure. Use it as your see fit to help you move forward with this.
* this information taken from "Overcoming The Fear of Failure Early" by Dawn M. Williams
The recent Fear of Failure exercise at the division meeting asked us to look at how our fear of failure shows up in our lives. Included below is both a reminder of the four patterns and, as follow up, tips for overcoming the fear of failure.
Behaviors That Reflect a Fear of Failure
PERFECTIONISM
Secretly, you believe your performance is never quite good enough. You hold yourself to a much higher standard than anyone else. You feel compelled to be all things to all people. The word “no” does not exist in your vocabulary. Perfectionism is self-defeating, because it is an ideal that is not attainable.
PROCRASTINATION
Beyond poor time management, failure to plan, or simply giving in to distractions, there is often a deeper underlying issue when we procrastinate. If you doubt your ability to succeed, beginning the task will evoke a great deal of discomfort. Procrastination is a defense mechanism that protects you from the emotional pain of facing your fear.
STAGNATION
Your life is in a rut. The thought of trying something new causes anxiety; there seem to be too many unknown variables for your comfort. The predictability of your lifestyle was meant to be a cocoon to protect you from risking failure. Yet it has become stale and boring. You feel restless and unfulfilled, but the prospect of change is too intimidating.
UNFINISHED BUSINESS
There is no shortage of good ideas in your life. You are enlivened by possibilities and pursue numerous projects that never seem to get off the ground. Unfinished endeavors are a constant. You thrive on that sense of potential within you, but never allow it to blossom. After all, having potential means success is always looming ahead; taking action means risking the loss of a future reward.
We have a great opportunity to take this even further. We can use what we learned about ourselves at the division meeting and bring it to our teams. Below is the list of tips for helping to overcome the fear of failure. Use it as your see fit to help you move forward with this.
- Reconstruct your beliefs. You are a person of value and worth, regardless of success and failure. The love and esteem of others is given because of who you are, not what you do.
- Build your self-esteem. Believe in yourself and your ability to reach your goals. Let past accomplishments serve as proof that you can achieve whatever you choose to pursue.
- Redefine failure. Discovering what doesn’t work is as necessary as learning what does. Look at each endeavor as a valuable learning experience. It puts you one step closer to achieving your goal.
- Separate the doer from the deed. Some of the most brilliant, successful people in history failed numerous times before finding their niche. Failing does not reflect on your character or efficacy. In fact, getting back on the proverbial horse after a setback shows your perseverance and integrity. Believe that your actions, not your accomplishments, reveal your strength.
- Change all-or-nothing thinking. Success comes in degrees. Learn to identify positive outcomes, even when the ultimate goal hasn’t been reached.
- Face the worst-case scenario. Once you’ve faced a fear, it has less power over you. Identify the worst that can happen, and develop a contingency plan for dealing with that possibility.
- Plan your next step. Every goal requires that specific steps be taken. To become a published author, you have to write. To find a loving partner, you have to get out and meet people. The point is simply to begin, not to achieve perfection. Drafts can be rewritten, and having dinner with someone doesn’t obligate you to marry her. Keep moving in the right direction, correcting course as needed.
- Take action. Courage means doing what must be done in spite of fear. Take the first step. You will be emboldened by the control it gives you over your emotions, paving the way for progress.
* this information taken from "Overcoming The Fear of Failure Early" by Dawn M. Williams
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